From House Calls To Husband Page 13

  “Well, Doctor,” Dr. MacAllister said to Mike as he rose and pulled out his wife’s chair. “I suppose we’d best join them. Save one for me, Katie.”

  There was no graceful way for them to refuse. But Mike was fairly certain Katie was trying to think of a way to do just that when he turned to find her reluctantly removing her napkin from her lap.

  He doubted anyone who’d met her tonight had a clue that she was strung tight as a bow. She’d charmed the partners in his practice when he’d introduced her to them earlier, and she’d held up her end of the conversation beautifully during dinner. She hadn’t even flinched when Dr. Aniston had stepped on the emotionally sore issue of her father. But her usual animation was history, and the tension between the two of them suddenly seemed thick enough to cut with a scalpel.

  “This won’t last much longer.” He pulled her chair out, taking her hand rather than offering his. “I promise.”

  By “this” Katie thought that he meant the evening. But the edge in his voice robbed her of any certainty. She wasn’t sure of much of anything where Mike was concerned anymore. The sense of command he exuded at the hospital, his tendency to simply take over, had never slipped into their personal dealings before. They did just then, however. He didn’t guide her through the tables to the floor with his hand politely at her back. He led her there by the hand, refusing her any chance to think about whether or not she wanted to dance with him.

  Or maybe, she thought when they reached the floor, his decisiveness was simply a way to keep himself from balking. The orchestra had just started the chorus of “Strangers in the Night” when he slipped his arm around her waist and drew her toward him.

  The feel of his big, hard body seared her from her breasts to her knees.

  “We’re just going to dance, Katie.” His voice was a tight whisper, a feathery brush of warm breath against the pulse pounding in her ear. “Relax.”

  With his muscular thigh flexing against hers, she’d have had a better chance of relaxing in an electric chair. But the censure in his tone had her consciously dropping her shoulders and untensing her arms.

  “That’s better,” he murmured, easing her into the slow rhythm of the music. “I figure we have to stick around for an hour or so, then we can leave. Can you manage that?”

  “I think Dr. MacAllister regards you as his guest of honor tonight. We’ll stay as long as you need.”

  The heels she wore made her taller. When he’d held her before, the top of her head had just reached his chin. Now, she barely had to tip her head to meet his eyes.

  For a moment, he said nothing. He just let his hooded glance stray over her face, the chiseled lines of his features totally unreadable. Behind her, all around her, couples swayed and turned, the music underscoring conversations and muffled laughter. They were moving, too. Barely.

  “If you want to say good-night to your parents before we leave, you might want to do it soon.”

  “Even if we could find them, it’s not necessary.” She could feel his hipbone against her stomach, his thigh brushing hers. Without thinking, her arm inched higher on his shoulder, bringing her closer still. “Mom isn’t expecting it and Dad won’t care. Is there anyone you need to see?”

  “I think I covered all my bases earlier,” he said, preparing to challenge her statement about her dad. The feel of her body flowing toward his vaporized the thought as soon as it formed. Breathing her scent, wondering what she had on under the gown—it was all he could do to concentrate. The black velvet was so soft it begged to be touched. Like her skin. Her hair. “Once we leave the table, if we don’t make eye contact with anyone, we should be safe.”

  “We sound like we’re desperate to escape.”

  “Aren’t we?” Steeling himself, he nudged her closer, picking up their pace so they could dance and talk without being overheard. His breath ruffled a curl near her ear. “Two more minutes of Aniston’s theory on the moral decline of the country, or Mrs. MacAllister’s veiled remarks about how man wasn’t meant to live alone, and I’ll be begging for a lobotomy.”

  “She means well. Family is important to her, so she thinks it should be for everyone.”

  “It is important,” he muttered, nodding to Dr. Claire Griffen as she spun by with her date. “I just don’t know that I need one of my own.”

  He spoke easily, the conclusion sounding no more important to him than the need to buy stools for the breakfast bar in his kitchen.

  “Ever?”

  “I won’t say ever. I just can’t see it in the near future.” He gave a mirthless chuckle. “Or the distant future, for that matter.”

  Katie lowered her head, everything disappearing from view but the fine black fabric of his tuxedo jacket. Her voice, already quiet, lowered even more. “I didn’t realize Marla had hurt you that much. I’m really sorry, Mike.”

  Her words, like the sympathy they conveyed, set him aback.

  “Hurt has nothing to do with it, Katie. Not everyone wants what Mrs. MacAllister does. What you want,” he emphasized, because he knew how badly Katie wanted children someday. Even as a child herself, she’d been in her element baby-sitting his little brother and the other kids in the neighborhood. He was pretty sure, too, that one of the reasons she worked at the free clinic was so she could hold the babies when their moms brought them in.

  “It’s not that I don’t like children,” he defended. “You know I’m crazy about my brother’s kids. I just don’t feel the need to commit to any more obligations. I don’t see how I could even if I wanted to. Despite what everyone else seems to think, I’m happy with my life just the way it is.”

  There was enough defense in his tone for even Mike to question the conviction. But that defense was there because he was tired of everyone from his office manager to his mom and Katie trying to fix his life for him. He was fine with what he had. With the invitation to the conference, what he had was better than fine. In fact, as far as he was concerned, the only problem in his life was the woman in his arms.

  If he could just move beyond the fact that their bodies seemed made for each other and get his old friend back, even that part of his life would be all right. He hadn’t wanted to risk his relationship with her by pushing for something she didn’t want. But he didn’t want to go on this way any longer, either. Their relationship was already in trouble, and she seemed no more happy than he was. The fact that their bodies did fit so well wasn’t something he could ignore, either. His own body wouldn’t allow it.

  “Sorry,” he murmured, wishing to heaven that he knew what was going through her mind. Tom between pleasure and torture at the feel of her moving with him, he pulled her a little closer. “I didn’t mean to take that out on you.”

  Katie’s soft, “It’s okay,” was barely a whisper. Under the circumstances, it was the best she could manage. She knew he was just unloading on her in a way that he couldn’t with their dinner companions. And there had been a time when she’d have thought nothing more of his claims than how incredibly sad it was that he was denying himself so much.

  She still felt that sadness. Only it felt far more personal now. He didn’t need, nor did he want, anything in his life that he didn’t already have. He couldn’t have made that any clearer if he’d written it out on a banner and strung it across the room. No matter how much she wanted to believe everything would be all right between the two of them, what he’d just said proved it might well never be.

  She hadn’t realized how easily she’d settled into his arms until she let her hand slip from his shoulder. Despite the warmth low in her stomach, or perhaps because of it, her body had fitted itself to his, her movements effortless as she’d followed his lead. Now, with his arms feeling a little too necessary, she had to back away. If sleeping together had stressed their relationship, she couldn’t bear the thought of what would happen if that test in her bathroom turned out positive.

  “Katie? What’s the matter?”

  All she could think to say was, “The music stopped.�
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  The last strains of the piece were fading even as she spoke. But Mike was dead certain it hadn’t been the end of the music that had pulled her out of his arms. Baffled by why she suddenly looked so lost, he stepped closer. His hand settled on her shoulder. “Do you want to leave now?”

  She looked as if she wanted nothing more. He even thought that was what she was going to say when someone’s beeper went off, causing half the people around them to start patting at their pockets.

  “The next one’s mine, Dr. Brennan.” Dr. MacAllister’s voice came from behind Katie. “And you may dance with my bride. Who, by the way,” he added, winking at his wife as Mike reluctantly broke contact with the subdued woman stepping back from him, “has promised not to ask anything too personal.”

  Well versed in keeping up appearances, since she’d done it all her life, Katie gathered her composure around her like a cloak and graciously accepted Dr. MacAllister’s hand. Offering his own hand to an extremely curious Mrs. MacAllister, Mike watched the younger woman charm his chief of staff with her soft smile.

  “Lovely girl, isn’t she?” Maggie MacAllister asked, a speculative twinkle in her eyes.

  “Yes. She is.”

  “I know you’re old friends, but you two make a very nice-looking couple.”

  He didn’t know how he was supposed to reply to that. So he just said, “Thanks,” and thwarted her fishing expedition by asking when her son was to start at Memorial. Yet, even as they talked, his thoughts remained on Katie.

  He wasn’t sure why she’d gone so still and so silent moments ago. He didn’t even know if she’d have told him had he pressed. He didn’t know, either, why she’d become so quiet during dinner when his study had been mentioned. But enough was enough. When presented with a problem, he diagnosed it and fixed it if he possibly could. He did not ignore it, hoping it would go away.

  No, he and Katie needed to talk. Tonight.

  It was nearly midnight when Mike finally climbed behind the wheel of his black Lexus and the valet closed Katie’s door. Slipping the sleek car into gear, he guided it from beneath the brightly lit portico into the dark and the rain. The rhythmic slap of windshield wipers underscored the rush of air from the heater and the defrosters.

  Those droning, constant sounds did nothing but intensify the silence stretching between them.

  “I owe you big-time for this one, Katie.”

  She turned from her window. “You don’t owe me anything.”

  “Sure I do. You were miserable in there, but you stuck it out. Considering how uptight we’ve been with each other lately, I’d say you went above and beyond this time.”

  The lights from the dashboard provided only enough illumination to see shapes and shadows. Glancing at her profile to check her reaction, he caught the glint of an earring when she looked down at her lap.

  He bit back a sigh. “That won’t work. Ignoring what happened isn’t going to make it go away.” The frown in his brow revealed itself in his voice. “You won’t even acknowledge how messed up things are getting, will you? And they are messed up,” he said before she could deny it. “You can’t even be happy for me anymore.”

  Katie blinked at him in the flash of passing streetlights. Though all she could see was the tense set of his shadowed profile, it was enormously apparent he had as much preying on his mind as she did on hers.

  “What are you talking about? My not being happy for you, I mean.”

  “My study.”

  “I am pleased for you about that.” She shook her head, at a loss. Of everything that seemed to be changing between them, her pride and pleasure over the acceptance of his work was definitely not one of them. “What makes you think I’m not?”

  “Katie,” he said patiently. “I’ve known you forever. I think I can read your expressions by now. When Dr. MacAllister offered that toast, you couldn’t have looked more unenthused if you’d tried.”

  “If I looked unenthused,” she replied, not sure she liked being read so easily, “it’s because I thought you wanted me to help you with the data.”

  There was more defeat in the admission than she’d intended, along with something that sounded suspiciously like hurt. Hating that it was there, afraid of what it might reveal, she did what she always did when something stung and tried to convince herself it simply did not matter.

  She was still working on it when she heard his heavy sigh.

  “Do you know why I haven’t asked you to help me with that paper? I haven’t asked,” he continued, his voice a low rumble of resignation, “because I didn’t want to listen to you make up excuses about why you couldn’t come over. I didn’t think you’d want to be alone with me.”

  His last remark brought her head up again. All along, she’d been thinking he didn’t want to be alone with her. “I told you I’d help you,” she murmured.

  “I know you did. But that was before we slept together. Nothing’s been the same with us since.”

  Katie’s mouth was open, ready to counter whatever excuse he’d deigned to offer. She promptly closed it, and turned her glance to her own side of the windshield. With his quietly spoken conclusion echoing in the air, she had no defense at all.

  “We can’t ignore it anymore, Katie. Not talking about it isn’t working. Pretending it didn’t happen isn’t working, either.” His hand clenched on the wheel, the tension there echoed in the smoky tones of his voice. “I can’t even figure out whether or not you want me to touch you.”

  They were even. She couldn’t figure it out, either.

  He didn’t seem to expect a response, anyway. He cast a glance toward her, his expression unreadable, then returned his attention to the road.

  It was only a matter of minutes before he pulled up to the curb in front of her duplex. He killed the engine, leaving them in a silence so heavy it seemed to press the oxygen out of the air. Even the rain had stopped, robbing them of its beat on the roof. The only sound Katie heard was the anxious beat of her heart in her ears and the bark of a neighbor’s dog. After a moment even the dog fell silent.

  Unlatching her seatbelt, she watched Mike reach toward the dashboard. He hesitated, his arm outstretched, then he turned off the car’s lights. Though his expression was shadowed, it was easy to see he was making no move to get out.

  Unhooking his own seat belt, he angled his big body toward her.

  “Answer one question for me.”

  “If I can.”

  “You can,” he assured her, his glance moving slowly over her face. “And no evading.”

  She pulled a breath, then blew it out. “What’s the question?”

  “Are you uncomfortable with me because you’re embarrassed about what happened, or because you can’t forget about it?”

  No evading, he’d said. But he didn’t say she couldn’t hesitate. “Both,” she finally replied.

  “Okay,” he murmured, his voice growing quieter with her admission. “Then let’s deal with the embarrassment factor. Is it as bad now as it was at first?”

  Thinking he sounded as if he were going through a checklist to diagnose a defect, she shook her head. “Not quite.”

  “What about the other? The not being able to forget part.” The deep tone of his voice turned velvet soft. “Is it on your mind a little less every day, or a little more?”

  In the shadows, he watched her lift her glance from his shirt. Her eyes glittered in the dim light, and her skin looked as pale as marble.

  “Yeah,” he agreed, hearing the answer in her silence. “It’s on my mind all the time, too.”

  It seemed natural to touch her, necessary in a way he didn’t care to question. That was why he didn’t stop himself when he reached to tuck her hair behind her ear. If she pulled back, if she stiffened, he might have reconsidered what he was about to propose. But she made no attempt to break the contact.

  “Maybe we should just give it more time,” she suggested quietly.

  “Until what? We’ve stopped speaking to each other? We
’ve tried your way and it hasn’t worked.”

  “I know,” she conceded. “I just don’t know what else to do.”

  “Try mine.”

  There was no mistaking the possession in his touch when he cupped her jaw in his hand and tipped her face to his. It had been possession she’d felt when he’d skimmed his hands over nearly every inch of her flesh, and it had been possession he’d claimed when he’d stripped her to her soul and entered her body.

  With her eyes locked on his, it was that knowledge charging the air between them. The thought that he wanted to capitalize on the claim he’d staked shook Katie to her core.

  He brushed his mouth over hers, the caress so light it felt like the touch of satin on silk. It amazed her how something that looked so sculpted and hard could be so incredibly soft. He did it again, the sensations he elicited sending signals through her body that had her melting in some places, tensing in others. He’d made love with her only once, yet he had her body responding to his as if they’d been lovers forever.

  “See,” he whispered, the faint sound vibrating against her cheek as he traced a path to her ear. “It’s working already.” He slipped one hand inside her coat and drew his hand from her waist to her breast. Her nipple bloomed shamelessly against his palm. “We want each other, Katie. We know each other. If we’re careful, there’s no reason we shouldn’t take up where we left off a few weeks ago.”

  His mouth brushed hers again, the tenderness of his kiss seducing her as surely as the carefully banked hunger behind it. He wasn’t going to put any demands on her that she didn’t want. And he wasn’t going to let himself lose control with her again. He couldn’t have made that more apparent had he tried. But his words echoed in her head, tearing at her heart, and when she found herself thinking she didn’t want him exercising control with her, she grabbed hold of what little good sense she still possessed and turned her head away.